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| Dating Advice Articles | The Second date, et al. By: bricko@tconl.com The first date went smoothly and you both liked what you saw and heard, so the second date has been made. Second dates and the ones that follow give you each a chance to learn more about each other. Try doing something different once in a while; movies and dinner are great, but you hardly learn anything, except that your date has the ability to sit still and be quiet for a few hours. These are great traits in kids and dogs, but hold a little higher standard for yourself and your date. Try going to a free starving artist showcase, or poetry reading. Not your style? How about go cart racing and mini-golf? The point is to find mutual hobbies or venues you each enjoy. This will spur conversations, find additional likes and dislikes. If your date prefers something totally opposite, for instance: You like visiting Old English Tea houses and playing pinochle and your date likes taverns and darts, go ahead, give it a try! Granted, this is highly unlikely, but gives a great example of ‘opposites attract’. Take turns; each picks the place for the next date. GOING TO THEIR/YOUR PLACE If you and your date want to spend time at each other’s home, I would advise placing a few ground rules ahead of time. The first ground rule I would recommend is talking about sex. If you do meet at one’s house, agree that there will be no sex until you’re both sure the relationship is going to workout. I don’t know how many relationships that have been based on lust or sex that I’ve seen fizzle out or end disastrously (celebrity/famous people come more readily to mind—their breakups are plastered everywhere and infinitely more painful because of the publicity). Certainly you can rattle off a few fizzled out relationships, both gay and straight, that have been run through the grist mill. Don’t let that happen to you! The second ground rule would be to talk about what kind of relationship you have or want to have. Have you agreed to see other people during this ‘get to know you’ period or see only each other to determine how much you like each other before deciding on whose dinnerware and window treatments to keep? This helps avoid confusion and hurt feelings if both parties are aware of what’s going on with the other person and the relationship. Taking these simple ground rules will help each party in this ‘get to know you’ period. Keep your eyes and ears open and broaden those horizons! |